LIVE ON TAPE EPISODE LOGS
- Yes, once again we’ve changed the news set. This was a return to our roots, set up just like show #1. It’s wacky, it’s inconsistent it’s Live on Tape!
THE BAD: This was the 2nd “stand alone” half-hour episode. I was still trying to figure out a look, tone, and format for the show being on its own. After the previous week’s episode (#13 “Too Much News”) I think this one slid back considerably. It’s really awful in some spots - especially the news stories that John and I are reporting at the news desks. We’re both awkward, there’s not a damn thing funny about it, and it’s dull to watch.
THE GOOD: Despite all the shortcomings of this episode, there were some good moments, like the “Opie” commercial that comes across well, and this show was the first appearance of Robert Munsing, a character I really like. The skit may be a little long-winded, but it’s a high-point in the episode, and John is creepily funny as Padre Walnoe. The potato ending, for pure silliness, is one of my favorites.
- The “Tell ‘em Opie sent you” commercial got me in hot water with the sales department at KLJB. The spot was a spoof on two different local commercials. One that was for a couple of women’s clothing stores in Geneseo, IL, and the other Good’s Furniture in Kewanee IL. The clothing ads always ended with this old bat named “Sophie” who ended the commercial by saying, “Tell them Sophie sent you”. In the Good’s Furniture spots, Mary from Goods hosted the commercial with all the flair and appeal of a turnip. My Opie spot was poking fun at both Sophie and Mary. Since Sophie and Good’s were both clients of our station (Good’s Furniture was a MAIN client of our station) I got into trouble from our sales dept. for making fun of them. Understandable I can see. However, the Opie spoof isn’t THAT bad or cutting and neither Sophie or Mary seemed to mind or complained. So I had to promise not to do it again and “apologize”. <sigh> That was the problem with attempting to do a show like this in a small market in the Midwest: local TV sales is humorless and unimaginative. But that’s pretty much sales everywhere from what I can tell. I think they were just jealous because Opie looked better than either Sophie or Mary.
- CALL FOR LOCAL TALENT! At the close of this show and the next several shows, I put out an open call for anyone in the Quad City area who would like to be on Live on Tape. I thought it would be fun if we could find some local people who did strange tricks or unusual acts. I received only one response from a viewer who sent me a copy of a short film he had made in college...it was God awful! There wasn’t even ten-seconds of it we could show. Eventually I gave up trying to recruit local talent, nobody was interested.
CREDITS
Costumes Provided By: Circa 21 & The Showbusiness
Producer - Thomas Hart
Directors - Gregzilla, Thomas Hart
Writer - Thomas Hart
PLAYERS
Don Bargmann Jr.
Barb Engstrom
Thomas Hart
John Horvath
and
introducing Steve Elliott as the camera man
Studio Camera Operators - Don Bargmann Jr., Steve Elliott
Audio - Denise Hollmer
Prompter - Sue Passe
Remember, the reason turtles are so crunchy is that they have a shell that covers their body.
©Copyright 1987, 2006 Thomas Hart
Live on Tape (Show #14)
“ARNIE’S AUCTION”
Airdate: October 17th 1987
(23:03)
SYNOPSIS - Guy and Arnie deliver more pointless and BORING news stories. Sprinkles, the weather ditz, gives her weather report while on location in the Village of East Davenport, Arnie gripes some more, and Geraldo Rivera gets the once over. The show ends early and so Guy and Arnie decide to fill the remaining time by holding an auction, unfortunately all the items for sale belong to Guy, and Arnie’s selling them off without Guy’s permission. The show ends with a “wacky” chase around the newsdesk...now that’s comedy!
“Bronchiodialators! What the hell’s that?!”
-Arnie Upshoe, griping as usual
Tell ‘Em Opie Sent You
Opie tells an eager public about the fabulous shopping opportunities in downtown Mayberry, like the Dairy-Go-Round for those of you who need the “hefty” sizes, or the Boar-Seasons for that more professional look. And don’t forget to check out their “barn-like” atrium!
NOTES AND POINTLESS INFORMATION
MOMENTS FROM THE EPISODE
SKITS AND BITS
First item up for bid...
Guy’s cat!
Filling time at the end of the show, Arnie starts an auction
Guy puts on a mask and teases Arnie during a break.
Guy goes after Arnie, trying to get back all the stuff he’s sold at auction.
Guy goes after Arnie to put a stop to the auction.
Geraldo Rivera Gets The Business
The IJIA (International Journalists Interrogation Association) gets Geraldo Rivera to admit his professional short-comings, and then he takes a beating for it from Hugh Downs.
LIVE ON TAPE FIRSTS!
The First “NOT” Used as a Sarcastic Retort
Arnie delivers the first broadcast “NOT!” two years before Wayne and Garth add it to the pop lexicon. Man, were we trend setters or what?
Not.
Between the Lines
“Reporting the truth about the times in which we live. Meeting a hungry public with the spirit of true journalism. God, that sounds dramatic!” Unfortunately that’s no part of this newscast which covers midget astronauts, jewel thieves who look like Herman Munster and E.T., rats that eat a house, an 83 year-old grandmother attacked by a deer, Chinese who riot over watermelons, and cockroaches that take over a city bus.
Arnie’s Gripe Of The Week #2
He’s upset over an ad that offers FREE PILLS through the mail: diet pills, energizers, sun-tan pills, sleep aids, bron... bronk... bronchiodialators!
He’s upset for no reason. It’s a pointless gripe, as usual.
Sarcastic side-talker.
Angry bombasicator.
FACES NEVER TO MAKE WHILE REPORTING THE NEWS
Weather Watch With Sprinkles
Sprinkles starts to report on the brisk fall weather, but instead gets worked up about the new fall fashions. She is especially curious about “virgin wool”... where does it come from, and how exactly do the farmers know that the sheep are virgins?
Cheese-whipple under-smirk.
It’s MY Fault!
Public service that helps relieve any pangs of guilt you may be feeling about...anything! Viewers call in and this guy takes ALL the blame!
Interview With Robert Munsing - Padre Walnoe
Robert (pronounced: row-bear), famed talk show host, interviews one of the world’s most influential film-makers, Padre Walnoe. They review his films including: Sponge Takes a Holiday, Dr. Scholle’s Revenge and several more. Things turn weird when Padre wants to be called Jorgen Dragonseed and refuses to acknowledge that he’s ever made any films. At the end Padre justifies his argument by showing Robert a potato that he keeps in his pocket that PROVES he’s right.
Okay... this is just weird.
